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Thursday, July 7, 2011

It's Not Really About the Insurance.......

I have spent the last two days online and on the phone researching health insurance options. This is not something I desire to do, but it is, alas, a necessity due to the changing circumstances in my life. These are circumstances that I don't like, are being forced upon me, and I'd do just about anything to avoid. But for whatever reason (which I know has to be ultimately good), God is not changing this unpleasant situation and thus I must figure out how to walk through it gracefully. And right now that means trying to find adequate, affordable insurance for myself. I have such a love/hate relationship with insurance (as everyone can probably relate) and now even more so. I gotta have it, but I don't wanna go through all the red tape necessary to get it. But you know, it's really not just about the insurance for me........it's really about the fact that for the last 21 years I've had a husband to take care of this issue for me and I still want that to be the case. Ok, there, I said it. And I even went so far as to say by the end of today - after my 25 phone calls from hungry insurance predators who all told me what I already knew, I can't afford insurance - that I would just rather live without it than to have to keep answering all these nosy questions about my private life and why I find myself needing new insurance and all that. I mean if I don't ever go to the doctor I won't know if anything is wrong anyway, right? Well, once again I must remind myself that I am in the hands of the Great Physician and He will protect me and provide for me. And though I'm not entirely sure yet just what that will look like, I know it will be better than anything I can figure out on my own. So I must seek, pray, trust, and obey. Still, I don't think I'm going to answer my phone for the next few days........

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